I'm Still Bleeding Inside But Life Has To Go On

I'm still missing the girl I had a date with last wednesday. I can totally see this girl as someone I can settle down with. But that is what happens when the perfect girl comes and you don't have game. You miss the opportunity. But I don't want to do anything stupid for her to shut me off permanently. Though I did made her feel awkward, I might have been brought down to the list of guys she wanted to go steady with.

This is hard for me to swallow. I have always been so prideful and egotistic about being the only choice. But perhaps a guru was correct that we should have no ego at all. Whatever the girl decides, dates other guys, you must be contented to be in that list, no matter how far behind are you. You can not really control those things, what your competitor is doing or how she feels. Just be in that list so when the other guys messed up, you're up for the bat and maybe next time, it could be a home run. Lose the ego.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Rejection - Acceptance

I guess I have to accept the fact that women will reject guys like me more than any normal guy out there. Being a nerd, I have always known women will reject me. But the self improvement continues on. Even though I thought that I did great on that date, a man has to move on, improve and explore more things. I'm done listening to love songs and I'm moving on.

Day 2: Date Aftermath No Comm

This is the hard part for me. I'm feeling really disappointed in my self. I think I could have done better in my last date. Thinking about it now. I think I were to lax and calm about it and made her awkward. Well, I think the ball is on her now. Not to mention he kept mentioning iron man and how he is her ideal guy, I'm starting to feel like an impotent man.

So I Went on a Date Today

I went on a date. Even though I have a huge ass pimple on my nose, I realized that I need to do this which is better than nothing. The pimple can come and go, and my date may not like me because of it, but I think the lesson that will be learned here will stay with me for a lifetime.

We went to the mall. I wanted to treat her to the movies. And she promised to treat me on her payday. Sounds fair enough for me. On the movie theatre, I tried to hold her hand when the scene is scary and she does seem like scared and covering her face. So I offered my hand and hold her. But just a few minutes, she took it off. This is the first rejection for me and I felt that I don't have this girl yet.

Then we went to eat. I tried to be funny. She does seem like genuinely smiling. But I'm just not sure if being persistent in filming her using my phone is a good idea. She is camera shy. This is where, I think I really messed up. I should have kept my phone in my pocket. But she looks so cute when being filmed. And I thought she doesn't mind.

I tried to hold her hand again while we were walking. But the fucking handbag is in the way. Always. I tried to tell her I'll carry the bag so I have the chance to actually hold her hand. But dumb fool me didn't spoke anything and just said, ok when she said she dont want men to carry her bag.

The part of the date where we part ways. I think here, she is just being polite in giving me the goodbye kiss and hug. But for me, it seems fake. She promised to take me out in return for another date. But I don't want to keep my hopes up.

I'm Drunk and I think I'm inlove

I have this girl that I have been in love with for a couple of years. A few weeks earlier, I think I have escalated into a more intimate relationship with her. She told me she likes me. But when it comes to love, she said that her heart is happy and she has yet to know what to feel once we meet again on wednesday.

I'm inlove with this girl.

Its Time To Change

Today I decided to change for the better. Not for me to get chicks. But for me to be deserving of the girl I'm about to go steady with in the future. I realized that if I want a really quality girl. I must also be a quality man to deserve her. I went out today and visited my dentist. He strongly suggest I get braces because of the gaps in my teeth. I don't really want to spend money right now. But what the heck, invest in thyself... After all this year, I only bought books. Thinking that the term "invest in yourself" meant educating yourself. I realized that it also goes for the outside appearance. So I agreed. I'm scheduled for braces this coming week.

Next is I bought a decent watch. The only 2 accessories that makes a man is his watch and his shoes. I don't have any elegant shoes at the moment and I still love my sneakers. I love the watch, I think its a good investment as well.

Next will be to enroll in a gym. This one is easy as I like to go to the gym.

Only Be Nice to Girls That Likes You

The following is a true story that happened last week with my friend. My friend likes a girl and we are drinking a couple of beers then suddenly, the girl texted us that somebody is trying to get into her house. Learning about the news, we immediately went to her place.

Basically, there are 3 guys that likes the girl (i think). One of it my friend. They never told me, I just kind of have a hunch.

Guy 1: Immediately went to her place panicking. I already know that he likes the girl because of his reaction. Its too obvious. He first arrived at the scene.

Guy 2: Good looking guy. Laid back. Every girl likes him because he is good looking.

Guy 3: My friend. Intelligent and nice guy. He has an engineering degree.

Basically, what happened was there's a guy who wanted to get into her house, eventhough the culprit knows that SHE is inside. Probably, there is something perverted he wanted to do, knowing that the girl was changing her clothes and trying to break the window and look inside.

We arrived at the scene and the culprit hearing our cars approach, escaped.

Guy 1: Showing concern to the girl. Getting angry and emotion for the lack of security in the area. Bitching around like a teenage girl for what happened.

Guy 2: Good looking guy, just hanging out quiet and being cute.

Guy 3: My friend. Decided to stay behind and watch to protect the girl.

I decided to stay behind as well just in case the culprit return, we can tackle him together. And also, I would like to know if girls really like nice guys like they always say.

I think my friend did the nicest thing. He was concerned for the girl. Everybody was asked if they also want to leave behind. Guy 1 and Guy 2 said they can't because of blah blah excuses.

I decided to volunteer to help my friend out. I know she likes the girl.

So we spent the night talking to the girl. So left them talking and I went to sleep.

My friend is really a nice guy. He even called the cops and security so in case the culprit returned and we are not there.

After the incident. We went home. She wants to repay us by treating us for drinks. Actually, we are not included. Guy 1 and Guy 2 only. Guy 2 was not there during the treat. Guy 1 and the other people involved are there on the treat. My friend Guy 3 and me were not invited.

The girl is upset because Guy 2 can't come and would like to setup another meeting for him.

I say. What the fuck is wrong with girls? My friend risked his neck to protect the girl. Went out of his way to show his concern and that's how he is repaid. Fuck that. I don't fucking understand it.