Crazy About Me

There's only a few instances when the girl that you like, likes you. Without much effort on your part, as if its fate that brought you together. Last night a girl that I like told me that she can't stop thinking about me. It made me happy. Finally, a girl that I like that likes me.

I Told You So

We are not friends. You don't know me, I don't know you either. I'm not mad at you. Nor hold a grudge at you. I just don't want to be associated with people who does not give respect to others.

Call It As It Is

Sometimes, especially women, will try to manipulate you on doing things you don't want to do just because you feel guilty about it. Most women will make you feel guilty to make you do the things they want. Most women are successful in life and learned this skill in manipulation from interacting with a lot of people.

Now that I remember, I usually am a subject of such a manipulation. But then I read a book about assertiveness and realized that this kind of manipulation is detrimental to my well being. Let's say for example, a girl wants you to do her homework, while she have sex with the jackass. You being the nerd, is being capable of doing the homework and if you try to decline. The only way for the girl is to make you feel guilty. And you do the homework while she slept with the douchebag.

The only way to approach the situation is to be assertive. To stand your ground and be honest about it. Without being a jerk. Each of us have their own rights on to where they want to spend their time on. And if the other person felt bad from your rejection, its not your problem. Because your time is yours not hers.

Call it as it is. Say "I don't want to do your homework", "I don't care if you fail." "Even if I'm free tonight, I still don't want to do your homework."

Be honest about it. Without being a jerk. If she asks what is the reason.. Say "No particular reason. I just want to hangout. Not doing anything." Don't be guilty just because you don't have a reason. Your time, is yours. If they feel bad about it. Its their problem. They need to grow up.

The Search for Charisma

Is charisma something you are born with? Is it some kind of a gift from the Gods that only a few people manage to receive and live a life of pure pleasure and success?

These are the questions that come into my mind whenever I get rejected by girls that I like. I used to think that charisma was something you are born with, a blessing from the gods. But recently, I realized that charisma is a skill that can be learned.

I have discovered that being charismatic have 3 important recipe; Presence, Power and Warmth.

Presence is the most important of the 3. Its the sense of being in the moment. To focus your attention to a girl or an activity. I like girls that are so deep into an activity. They are attractive during those times. And I found out the reason why. It is presence. Presence makes people feel special. It is not compliments that make them feel happy. It is your undivided attention. It is the unspoken language. It is what makes people see you as different.

Power makes people feel secure around you. Power gives people the impression that you can change their lives. Power is not merely seen by being in a position of authority. Although most of the time it is. Power is in the ease of movement and being relaxed in every moment. Power to master your emotions and to protect your confidence. Power is to how good is your body language to project charm. Power can also be seen and expressed by having intelligence and money. Power for me, is being relaxed at all times.

Warmth makes people want to like you. If power is the ability to change a person's life, it is in 2 ways, good or bad. People want the good and warmth gives them the assurance that you're in for the better. It cements your charm into them. You are powerful but at the same time you won't do anything bad for them. In fact, you'll do good things for them. They will stick around.

Confess love or Not

If there is one guy that I would listen to all day about charisma and seduction. It is this guy. Wayne Elise. I have huge respect for the guy.

The Zen of Confidence

I have been following a korean pop idol. I don't usually behave like this because I used to believe that all idols are just a bunch of teenage premadonnas who know how to sing and dance.

But there is one particular male idol that caught my attention. He is not manly in any way and behaves like a gay person. But one thing that surprised me was that he has confidence. Whatever he does, be it wacky funny, gay acting or dancing, he makes it look that he is not pretending to be anybody. Not trying to be someone else. Or not trying to fit in what an idol should be - sexy, manly man. And because of that, I'm sold.

He has this 100 rules of life that he posted in a wall. That he tries to follow and what he thinks should be to guide him to be a perfect person. There is one particular rule in this that caught my attention and that all men should strive hard for.

Instead of trying to be the best, to do one's best.
To be confident that you are the best, yet be humble.
To treat women like rocks (do not be seduced by their beauty)
To be careful with women that likes men. And avoid these types of women.

I only posted 4 of my favorites and I think every man should remember. Or perhaps we should also make a 100 rules of life for us to live by.

You Have to Have A Goal. But Be Goal-less Doing It...

Its like a zen thing. To be able to achieve your goal in the most, non-restricting and confident manner (such as wooing a woman) you have to be goalless. I just realized the value of this approach. Being goalless opens your mind. You are not attached to the outcome. And so, you do things and say things as it flows. You become adaptive to what is happening. You become enveloped in the now. You experience things at the present and that makes every conversation unique and powerful. Not to mention its also fun.

I am pursuing this woman that used to be my childhood sweet heart. I used to be careful replying and conversing with her because I don't want to mess this up again. Until I snapped.. I don't want to work anymore. Thinking of what to say, I said to myself "Fuck that. I'm gonna say what I want to say. As long as I don't hurt another human being, expressing my desires should be my top priority." To be accepted or rejected is irrelevant. To express yourself is a must.

This is like a eureka moment for me. The conversation became more unique. And I think we connected emotionally because of that..

From now on, I will promise to be honest to how I feel. As long as I don't hurt people to what I will say, I will say it. Expressing my desires. What I want. In the most emotional words I can come up with. Being accepted or rejected is irrelevant. Being able to express myself is attractive. Having a goal is nice. But being goalless means you are not attached to anything. It makes you feel free and live in the present. It makes any interaction with other people genuine.