The Zen of Confidence

I have been following a korean pop idol. I don't usually behave like this because I used to believe that all idols are just a bunch of teenage premadonnas who know how to sing and dance.

But there is one particular male idol that caught my attention. He is not manly in any way and behaves like a gay person. But one thing that surprised me was that he has confidence. Whatever he does, be it wacky funny, gay acting or dancing, he makes it look that he is not pretending to be anybody. Not trying to be someone else. Or not trying to fit in what an idol should be - sexy, manly man. And because of that, I'm sold.

He has this 100 rules of life that he posted in a wall. That he tries to follow and what he thinks should be to guide him to be a perfect person. There is one particular rule in this that caught my attention and that all men should strive hard for.

Instead of trying to be the best, to do one's best.
To be confident that you are the best, yet be humble.
To treat women like rocks (do not be seduced by their beauty)
To be careful with women that likes men. And avoid these types of women.

I only posted 4 of my favorites and I think every man should remember. Or perhaps we should also make a 100 rules of life for us to live by.

You Have to Have A Goal. But Be Goal-less Doing It...

Its like a zen thing. To be able to achieve your goal in the most, non-restricting and confident manner (such as wooing a woman) you have to be goalless. I just realized the value of this approach. Being goalless opens your mind. You are not attached to the outcome. And so, you do things and say things as it flows. You become adaptive to what is happening. You become enveloped in the now. You experience things at the present and that makes every conversation unique and powerful. Not to mention its also fun.

I am pursuing this woman that used to be my childhood sweet heart. I used to be careful replying and conversing with her because I don't want to mess this up again. Until I snapped.. I don't want to work anymore. Thinking of what to say, I said to myself "Fuck that. I'm gonna say what I want to say. As long as I don't hurt another human being, expressing my desires should be my top priority." To be accepted or rejected is irrelevant. To express yourself is a must.

This is like a eureka moment for me. The conversation became more unique. And I think we connected emotionally because of that..

From now on, I will promise to be honest to how I feel. As long as I don't hurt people to what I will say, I will say it. Expressing my desires. What I want. In the most emotional words I can come up with. Being accepted or rejected is irrelevant. Being able to express myself is attractive. Having a goal is nice. But being goalless means you are not attached to anything. It makes you feel free and live in the present. It makes any interaction with other people genuine.