Soft Eye Focus, Without a Judging Eye

It is said that the eye is the window to the soul. I always believed that the eyes is the most dynamic and most expressive in all of the organs in the body. But I think I have it wrong when I decided to stare at women with glaring eyes, hoping to attract a potential mate. But instead, I chase them away..

After reading the book The Charisma Myth, I realized that the eyes should be expressed in an open and non-judging way to be charismatic. I glare at women, I stare at them with intensity. But I realized that I understood it wrong. On the contrary, the eyes should be a non-judging and caring eyes like a father to his child. But his posture should be powerful at the same time. This is where warmth and power comes in to play, and with a touch of listening attentively, you begin to exude the charisma you ever dream of.

Crazy About Me

There's only a few instances when the girl that you like, likes you. Without much effort on your part, as if its fate that brought you together. Last night a girl that I like told me that she can't stop thinking about me. It made me happy. Finally, a girl that I like that likes me.

I Told You So

We are not friends. You don't know me, I don't know you either. I'm not mad at you. Nor hold a grudge at you. I just don't want to be associated with people who does not give respect to others.

Call It As It Is

Sometimes, especially women, will try to manipulate you on doing things you don't want to do just because you feel guilty about it. Most women will make you feel guilty to make you do the things they want. Most women are successful in life and learned this skill in manipulation from interacting with a lot of people.

Now that I remember, I usually am a subject of such a manipulation. But then I read a book about assertiveness and realized that this kind of manipulation is detrimental to my well being. Let's say for example, a girl wants you to do her homework, while she have sex with the jackass. You being the nerd, is being capable of doing the homework and if you try to decline. The only way for the girl is to make you feel guilty. And you do the homework while she slept with the douchebag.

The only way to approach the situation is to be assertive. To stand your ground and be honest about it. Without being a jerk. Each of us have their own rights on to where they want to spend their time on. And if the other person felt bad from your rejection, its not your problem. Because your time is yours not hers.

Call it as it is. Say "I don't want to do your homework", "I don't care if you fail." "Even if I'm free tonight, I still don't want to do your homework."

Be honest about it. Without being a jerk. If she asks what is the reason.. Say "No particular reason. I just want to hangout. Not doing anything." Don't be guilty just because you don't have a reason. Your time, is yours. If they feel bad about it. Its their problem. They need to grow up.

The Search for Charisma

Is charisma something you are born with? Is it some kind of a gift from the Gods that only a few people manage to receive and live a life of pure pleasure and success?

These are the questions that come into my mind whenever I get rejected by girls that I like. I used to think that charisma was something you are born with, a blessing from the gods. But recently, I realized that charisma is a skill that can be learned.

I have discovered that being charismatic have 3 important recipe; Presence, Power and Warmth.

Presence is the most important of the 3. Its the sense of being in the moment. To focus your attention to a girl or an activity. I like girls that are so deep into an activity. They are attractive during those times. And I found out the reason why. It is presence. Presence makes people feel special. It is not compliments that make them feel happy. It is your undivided attention. It is the unspoken language. It is what makes people see you as different.

Power makes people feel secure around you. Power gives people the impression that you can change their lives. Power is not merely seen by being in a position of authority. Although most of the time it is. Power is in the ease of movement and being relaxed in every moment. Power to master your emotions and to protect your confidence. Power is to how good is your body language to project charm. Power can also be seen and expressed by having intelligence and money. Power for me, is being relaxed at all times.

Warmth makes people want to like you. If power is the ability to change a person's life, it is in 2 ways, good or bad. People want the good and warmth gives them the assurance that you're in for the better. It cements your charm into them. You are powerful but at the same time you won't do anything bad for them. In fact, you'll do good things for them. They will stick around.

Confess love or Not

If there is one guy that I would listen to all day about charisma and seduction. It is this guy. Wayne Elise. I have huge respect for the guy.

The Zen of Confidence

I have been following a korean pop idol. I don't usually behave like this because I used to believe that all idols are just a bunch of teenage premadonnas who know how to sing and dance.

But there is one particular male idol that caught my attention. He is not manly in any way and behaves like a gay person. But one thing that surprised me was that he has confidence. Whatever he does, be it wacky funny, gay acting or dancing, he makes it look that he is not pretending to be anybody. Not trying to be someone else. Or not trying to fit in what an idol should be - sexy, manly man. And because of that, I'm sold.

He has this 100 rules of life that he posted in a wall. That he tries to follow and what he thinks should be to guide him to be a perfect person. There is one particular rule in this that caught my attention and that all men should strive hard for.

Instead of trying to be the best, to do one's best.
To be confident that you are the best, yet be humble.
To treat women like rocks (do not be seduced by their beauty)
To be careful with women that likes men. And avoid these types of women.

I only posted 4 of my favorites and I think every man should remember. Or perhaps we should also make a 100 rules of life for us to live by.

You Have to Have A Goal. But Be Goal-less Doing It...

Its like a zen thing. To be able to achieve your goal in the most, non-restricting and confident manner (such as wooing a woman) you have to be goalless. I just realized the value of this approach. Being goalless opens your mind. You are not attached to the outcome. And so, you do things and say things as it flows. You become adaptive to what is happening. You become enveloped in the now. You experience things at the present and that makes every conversation unique and powerful. Not to mention its also fun.

I am pursuing this woman that used to be my childhood sweet heart. I used to be careful replying and conversing with her because I don't want to mess this up again. Until I snapped.. I don't want to work anymore. Thinking of what to say, I said to myself "Fuck that. I'm gonna say what I want to say. As long as I don't hurt another human being, expressing my desires should be my top priority." To be accepted or rejected is irrelevant. To express yourself is a must.

This is like a eureka moment for me. The conversation became more unique. And I think we connected emotionally because of that..

From now on, I will promise to be honest to how I feel. As long as I don't hurt people to what I will say, I will say it. Expressing my desires. What I want. In the most emotional words I can come up with. Being accepted or rejected is irrelevant. Being able to express myself is attractive. Having a goal is nice. But being goalless means you are not attached to anything. It makes you feel free and live in the present. It makes any interaction with other people genuine.

While Walking Today... A Girl Called Me...

I was walking... Going home from a small quick meal from a fast food... Two girls, smiling and giggling. The beautiful of the two, long hair, wearing pink shirt that fits her body really well and a denim short that shows her legs, stared at me.. Really hot. The other girl was a 6. The hot girl,  smiling. In an inviting manner. I made her know that I noticed her but still I went on my way a few steps more. Until she "psst...", "psssttt...". I looked at the corner of my eye and I saw her looking at me and pulling at her friend to look at me. I smiled and said "Hi. What's your name?"


I think she was surprised. I might be the first one to approach her that boldly. I think she is making fun of guys by doing that kind of thing. She said "Why??! Why are you asking me?". I said, "Well, you were calling me back there aren't you?"... Smiling, she said "No... I'm sorry...". I said, "Well, ok...". I think she was just joking... Just when I went on and continue my way she said "I'm Sheena" and ran like a little girl with a crush..

I have a feeling that if I walk the same road tomorrow. I might be able to see her again. She's one hot girl. I wouldn't mind getting to know her more. And probably ask her to eat with me on the fast food. :)

Online Chatroom Game

I entered a chatroom in IRC. A local chatroom that I used to visit a few years ago. I'm surprised that its still alive after all the innovation in technology. I tried to chat up some girls and managed to find a decent girl with no ego and just enjoyable chat.

She's a nurse. I haven't seen her yet. We exchanged stories and have a lot in common. Everything is going smoothly. I made my statement of intent and not being "relationshipee". I wanted to see this interesting girl and asked for her facebook account. Turns out, she doesn't want to give hers. I was surprised. I thought I was doing it right but then she was defensive when I asked for her facebook account.

I tried to find the answers. And her answer still lingers in my head "You're hot in my mind and I don't want to mess what we have right now once you see how I look."

She's into me. I think its more fun now that we don't exchange facebook accounts. It turned me on that she thinks of me as a sexual man. As a hot man. I want to turn her on now that I know where I stand. Try to push things further and keep the mystery present by not being able to see how each of us look.

I learned to take it slow. Not seeing each other might be a good idea after all. It also converts to dating. Pushing for a date is not that good if there's no desire. Desire comes first. Built it. Turn her on. Once she asks for a date, turn it down. Turn her more some more until she begs for a date. Then you reward her with a date. Make her work. I will never make the same mistake again. I will not work or exert any effort in a relationship where the effort is not being reciprocated ever again.

I'm a lot wiser now.

A Gentleman Should Lead

A girl should make an effort for her to be invested in the interaction. While I was talking to this girl (let's call her Korean Fan Girl), we talked about korean language. Then comes the opportunity for me to make her do some effort by teaching me how to speak korean.

She doesn't want to teach me korean. Making excuses that she forgot. I made a joke, saying that I know some korean words like taekwondo and stuff. Funny stuff, but still not enough to make a conversation. While I was about to give up. I remember to lead. Lead by example. A gentleman should lead. So instead of nagging her to teach me korean. I taught her the only korean words I know, "Anyong haseo, it means hello in Korean", I said. She replied back in a Korean language and told her I didn't understand what she said and she end up teaching me what she meant.

I realized the most important thing here. Men should lead. If a girl tries to bail out on the conversation, it doesn't mean she's a bitch. She might be shy and you need to do things for her to open up. Such as, risking yourself to failure in a conversation, leading by example and having fun in the process.

I Shouldn't Have Ignored The Signs

I feel sad today. I have worse feelings before. But this one is like a backpack that's been on your back for several hours and there's a little pain that very uncomfortable. Its bearable but its annoying.

It goes back to the manager girl I dated. The first time she ignored me should have been my signal to step back and now. I made so much effort that I feel invested in her. Those efforts were not reciprocated equally and it hurts me.

I felt used. We made a deal to treat her to the first date. I paid all the tabs. Promising to treat me on the 2nd date. But the 2nd date didn't came. I learned a lot from this experience. Never plan for the future. Always be at the present. The first date is where its at. I should have made it a balanced effort. Now I felt used like a doormat.

Its a wake up call for me. Though I feel sad at the moment. I'm kind of happy because I was terrified of dating before. And now, I'm pretty confident to hold my own when it comes again and just be myself. I enjoyed myself on our date, though she seemed to be guarded, I feel my own self.

Advantages of Being Single

Yesterday was a revelation for me. Just like the sacred monks find oneness on the vast mountains of the earth. I found myself thinking and reflecting on things that have happened in the past few months as I walk my way to the top of a mountain.

I realized that this past few days. I became too needy with the girl I like. I ignored the signs that she wants to step back. Its because she was telling me in words that she still wants me to continue, I ignored her body language that she wants me to step back. I became too eager to enter a relationship. I became too needy. And I lost track of my goals. There are advantages to being single and I forgot that its a lifestyle that I'm a better fit in than settling down. Because of that girl, I temporarily forgotten the reason for all of this. Because of that girl, I lowered my standards for her. Which I admit is wrong.

The girls that I meet are for developing my skills in the art of seduction. But the journey has been wonderful so far that I can't help fall in love with some of them along the way. Women are beautiful creatures. I love them. Some of them are really marriage material but I end up messing it up because of me too eager for a long term relationship or its just that I don't have enough experience to keep them.

I realized that being single gives me more freedom to do what I want. There are a lot of hobbies that I can do easily alone than with a partner. Especially if your partner is as busy as a bee, you will only end up drifting apart as you are either forced to do it alone or not do it at all.

I realized that there needs to be alot of soul searching to be made. Realizing that I don't have any control of what happens in the future makes me want to think of the now. I can not control how people feel about me. I can only help them and show them who I really am. And realizing that people have different wants and needs at a different time, there's really no telling if you're meant for each other or not. That is why, I think, that you need to think and let the girl think about it over and just let the pieces fall where they may. She will realize how valuable you are sooner or later and you will realize that there are a lot of quality women out there that you don't need to lower your standards for just because society says you need to settle down at this age.

Reverse Phone Number Close?

I went to the bank and was greeted by a cute representative. "I would like to deposit this check", I said. And before I know it, we are talking about my business and how she wants to have the same business as well. I told her, I can teach her if she wants if she would introduce me to the gorgeous colleague I saw a few days earlier. She agreed. She said "You always said that you'll teach me how, but you never really did it as if you're teasing me...". I said, "I will teach you. You have my number right?". She said, "I don't have it yet... Could you right it down here?".

Is it luck? Is it fate? I'm starting to think that I'm a ladies man. I would like to think that I'm a ladies man. But what happened here, just blew my mind. I wasn't even making much effort.

Responded Positively

The Manager Girl responded positively yesterday. She was sorry for ignoring my texts. And I was happy she understood it. I don't want to push my values on people. I just told her what I like and don't like about her. I'm not expecting her to change for me. I'm just voicing out what I feel. And she was sorry because she was busy. I also called out a lie that she made. I felt good that I have stood up to my values. I wouldn't be able to do it before with beautiful women. I feel that I'm beginning to mature in the right way and as time goes by, I'm beginning to be more comfortable being myself around people, especially women.

The Karate Girl is hitting on me! Not literally, it would hurt. Yesterday, she was showing me pictures of her. In which, for me was odd. Why would you want me to look at your pictures? Oh wait, I know, she's qualifying to me. She's trying to prove to me that she's beautiful. And she is... It was fun because I kept on making fun of her based on the pictures that I see.

On the other hand, my friend is in pain. I know there's no hope for him now. He didn't listen to what I have to say. I told him not to pamper the girl, not to be too nice, not to do things for her without her giving an effort back. People will take advantage of you, consciously or subconsciously. And most of the time, its not their fault, its just human nature. I always want people to do something for me. I'm a lazy motherf*cker. And high value men assume that people will do things for him and in return do things for the other person. Its just a way of making things balanced. Its a zen thing.

I Laid Down the Rules

I laid down the rules for the manager girl. She changed. She was so sweet before. But now she's just being rude and ignores me. I felt I could have handled the situation smoothly... But I can't get her to reply so I decided to bring it all down.

Right now, my heart is in pain. I know I can lose this girl because she's not the real sweet girl that I like. The real her was rude and didn't even want to text. The girl I like was sweet and thoughtful and always wants to text me. Walking away is hard. But I have to. I want to be happy and I know what I want.

Its hard walking away when you have made an effort into the interaction. I thought hard of things to say, she rewarded me with sweet things and now, I'm committed to her interaction. Now that I know and realize this, I won't make any effort for her so I won't get committed more and more.

Being Happy Means Knowing What You Want

This past few months have been a very good social life for me. Probably the best, for the last five years. And I'm happy that now, I have a goal that I know is achieveable and now, I know what path I should take.

A few years back, was when I was first introduced to seduction. I am the AFC who realized that there must be something wrong with being yourself. As the girls who you try to court has been sleeping with men that look like gorillas. I know there's something wrong with me, or perhaps something wrong with what I'm doing. My heart has been pounded left and right from high school to college. While always replaying in my mind what my mother told me, "Be yourself and be nice to girls."

This ended when a girl that I love / friend in college broke up with her gorilla looking boyfriend. I thought to myself, this is my chance to get the girl. I was so happy and began dreaming about stuff and things we will do once we are together. Only to be disappointed of the news that she's engaged a few months after.

"There's definitely wrong with me..." is what I tell myself. I'm average looking yet girls sleep with gorillas. I'm intelligent, an engineer. Why would they sleep with drop outs? They're not even Bill Gates! nor rich.

Long story short... That's how I started on this journey. And now I'm here. Contemplating which girl to pursue. Though the skills I have learned has been given me a feeling of accomplishment. I never consider myself as a guru or an expert. To me, I am still a beginner. I still have approach anxiety. I still stutter sometimes when a very gorgeous woman looks into my eyes. But now, the difference is, I know the path to mastery and happiness using these skills.

And being happy means knowing what you want, in women and in life. Most guys will be attracted to beautiful, successful and intelligent women. They will go out of their way to be the man of her dreams. Only to realized they have abandoned their real self. For me, being the alpha male is embracing your weakness, making fun of things that mess up and always having a laugh. To be happy with a woman means, telling her what you want and let her decide if she wish to fit in that role.

Being clear to what kind of woman you want. Let her know, but never control her. People are different... Some have the innate characteristics that you want. I am fortunate enough to end up with women that some values I appreciate. And some people wants to be that person that you want, which is also a good thing for you know she is seriously wants you to be happy.

I think knowing what you want is the easy part. The hard part is letting go. Letting go of the woman in which doesn't have the qualities you want, yet you stick to her because she's just beautiful. And I wish I have the discipline to just walk away.

The Girl That Everybody Wants

The Karate Girl have 2 boyfriends, 3 guys courting her and then me - seducing her. One of the 3 guys is my friend. I tried to tell him about pickup and seduction because I am concerned. I want my friend to get this girl because, I think he is the most worthy of all the guys. And me, the least worthy. But even with all my advice, he always resorted to being the nice guy. The typical AFC attitude. Yeah, the nice guy that we all know what will happen to if put together in a room with a hot girl. Friendzoned.

I don't want to sound arrogant. Ok maybe a little. I'm a very giving person and I want t help. But I need a bit more of an iron hand to teach him a lesson about seduction. I'm going to pursue the girl as a way of teaching a lesson and also as a practice.

It was last night that I have decided to do this. She's very comfortable with me. She's touching me and laughing. We were talking a few minutes ago and told me that our little interaction was the first time she laugh that day and it was late at night.

Single In Demand Women

Maybe I could say that I'm dating a single in demand woman. The first few weeks into meeting her, it felt like a mushy feeling and I grew to like her. But the first date was a failure and I feel that she's stepping back. Since then, I found myself wondering if I did wrong. I am anxious if I should pursue her or not. I decided to move on and date other girls.

Yesterday, we texted. And she explained that she was sick and have a lot to think about for work, that's why she wasn't able to reciprocate the attention. I thought to myself that I understand that. And maybe its the truth, when you're a manager of a big coffee chain, you have a lot of responsibilities and stress. She was also preparing for a presentation that time. But she was excited to go out on a second date with me.

During the first few weeks, she was really sweet and I like her. I might have been able to love her if it continued. But now, I'm not sure if this is something I want. I want a girl to pay attention to me. I love it when the girl texts me. When she expresses her opinion on something. And not leave me on a high note then excusing herself that's she's busy.

There may be a risk in dating a high value woman. She's too busy to make room for you. That or I'm just not valuable enough to spend time to. I'm starting to think that its about me.

Laugh at Your Mess

I will always be fun from now on. I seriously think that being fun and laughing at yourself can attract everyone. And fail stories are more fun to tell than successes. So I'll start with the awkward date. Oh not that again, right?

Before the date, I have a big pimple on my nose. I already succeeded in stalling the date up to one week. And it seems that it was inevitable. A day before the date, I did of some drastic measures to remove my pimple. I search the internet for overnight remedies, and I decided to try the ice thing. Its good for inflammation of the pimple. Same effect as any kind of battered injury. It did lessen the pimple and I was happy about it. I thought "Cool! I can finally pursue my date without being conscious about it. But after a few minutes, when the coldness subsides, the pimple was back. Even redder! And now I started to panic.

Search the internet again and tried the toothpaste remedy. It did work. It lessen the inflammation. I felt good about it and the pimple doesn't itch anymore. The only problem now is that, its fucking Rudolf the reindeer red!

I told myself, "Oh well... Its hopeless. But the show must go on..."

First Step to Being Attractive to Women

I must admit that I used to believe that being yourself is the best way to attract a hot lover. My mom always told me that its what inside that matters. Moms knows best, why would she lie to me? Eventhough I cultivated my inner self, learning books, being nice, girls still are not attracted to me. And it seems to made them flee at first sight.

I misinterpreted my mom. It is what inside that counts. But also, the packaging matters. And people are willing to pay for a premium if they see a good looking package. A good example is an apple computer. I used to be a windows guy. Then turned linux because of its stability. I can't stand windows crashing every 5 minutes. Then when a friend showed me a mac, i fell inlove with it. Its still linux "inside" but the packaging is beautiful. And costs a lot more than any ordinary computer. But still people are willing to pay for a high premium because of that. I know, because I bought a mac and now I'm broke.

I think that principle translates to attracting women. How you look and how you present yourself could mean the different between "Hi, you have good style" to "Hi, I don't talk to engineers".

Because of that, I bid farewell to my long hair and adopted a buzz cut. While crying, I also bought a new watch as an accessory and visited the dentist to fix my teeth. I have braces now and it sucks. But I'm all for self improvement and hot women so I don't care much about the pain. I don't eat much junk foods now because my braces hurt. And this in turn, turned my zit and pimple infested face into a clean, young looking, pimple free and celebrity looking face. Ok, I lied about the celebrity looking part. And I asked my sister what kind of products I can use for my face to make it better. I also stopped masturbating and stopped watching porn.

I feel better now. And I think that's more important than trying to attract women. Feeling good about yourself makes people feel comfortable being with you. I would like to think my quest is over. But there's still a lot of things to learn to be a ladies man. And I still don't see women lining up on my door.

I Really Like You... Or Do I?

During the past couple of weeks, I have been posting about this one girl that I dated. In which, I exude awkwardness and thus messing the date up. I didn't actually meant to mess it up. Because I think that the girl is a long term relationship material. But I did enjoy the date. I just made her feel awkward in my presence. I learned my lesson. And I think, I would like to experience this dating thing more. Meeting new people is actually fun.

I also realized that, its easier for me to forget this girl, once I got to know more girls that are more beautiful than her. The world is full of people, of girls that are beautiful. I can't be thankful enough to be single and alive.

I pursued 3 online dates. Pursued a girl in my karate class. I actually failed on the karate girl but she promised to hook me up with a friend. That's the power of seduction, even if you fail to get the girl, she will try to be nice to you and introduce you to a hot friend. :) I would like to pursue the awkward date girl but I think she bailed out on me and not very committed to any conversation we make. Its a shame really... I really like this girl. But a gentleman respects a girl's decision and so we try to move on and conquer new things. I won't be burning bridges here, I'll just tip toe myself gone so if she feels she wants to keep in touch again, we can rekindle the awkwardness.... I mean the date. Or whatever we had that made her want to date me in the first place.

Phases of Seduction

I have been thinking as of late and re-reading some of the guru's ebooks, trying to engrave the teachings to my core. And I want to write this blog post so I can remember and understand, perhaps also explain in my own words how seduction works. I'm a very lazy guy so memorization is not my thing, but if I could explain it in my own words as simple as I can, I will probably manage to convince other people that I really know how to seduce.

1st Phase - Open
The start of seduction. The approach. The openers. The pickup lines. And the approach anxiety. There's no way to cure approach anxiety, even top pickup gurus, even after their long struggle to be the top, still have approach anxiety. How did I know this? Because I'm the guru.... Ok... I'm not. They said it so.

2nd Phase - Comfort / Rapport
Rapport is being fun. The woman enjoys being with you. You make her laugh and gives stimulating conversation with her. You want to make the conversation very basic with action words, and feelings. Women relate to feelings and not to facts. Don't be bothered if you're wrong on facts. What's important is you're enjoying it.

During the 2nd phase, you might want to consider some of the following:

• Disqualification - Women have in their minds, the perfect guy. The intelligent, nice, husband material, rich, honest guy that she wants. You will never qualify to this list. So what you do? You claim to be the opposite of it. When a women said "I don't like guys who gossip." This is a subtle qualifying statement. She wants to know if you're a gossiper. And you don't fall for that, you ladies man, you agree and then you disqualify yourself from that list. You say "I totally agree. Gossiping is bad. But I can't help it. I gossip with my 70 year old neighbor and we talk about the women in town."
• Make her commit / Give Effort to the conversation - You don't want the interaction to be a one way monologue. You don't want to look as if you're too interested in her. What you want, is ask open ended questions. Big questions that allows her to think. Then you reward her effort. This will make her feel committed and will also give you a reason to like her. Other than her nice tits.
• Enroll in Acting Class / Comedy Improv Class - Ever wondered why we love witty characters that seems to know what things to say on any situation that will either makes us laugh, melt and say "awwwww" or say "damn right!"? Well, I don't even realized it till now but its true. We tend to be attracted to people that seems witty and knows what to say on every instant. Turns out that its a skill that can be learned. While I prowl the internet for some acting classes, there are some things that I learned to be "witty". One, to pace the conversation. Talk slowly, respond slowly. So everything will look as if you're fast thinker. Talking slowly and taking your time to think of what you'll say exudes confidence. Two, have fun and don't think about the outcome. People will laugh or not. If they don't, call it out so it becomes funny. Three, take the damn classes.
• Lose your Ego -You get rejected, you get angry. You despise all women whom you have been nice and did everything for, yet slept with your room mate who dropped out of school. You approach a woman, have a very good conversation but she has a boyfriend and you're sad leaving the poor damsel alone, hanging. Or my personal favorite, friends and family asking you to marry and settle down, asking you why you don't have a girlfriend and how you're running out of time. You get affected, disgusted with yourself and how every women are the same. This is all ego. Lose yourself. You get angry when you don't get what you want. Because you lost control. Being "ZEN" is the idea here. You want the chips to fall into place without effort. You want to be the ladies man you always wanted to be or to find that perfect girl that you always dreamed of. But in order to do that, you must always be single. And for that, you must be happy being single and alone and women will come into your life. Develop the skills and not be tied to the outcome number close, kiss or sex. These things doesn't matter. What you need is to have fun and enjoy the company of every girl. Women are very beautiful creatures. You will learn to appreciate them both inside and out. You'll learn that they'll be willing to give these all to you if you lose your ego and be confident in yourself.
• Kino - Touch her when she laughs. Make her touch you back by joking around. Touch her!

3rd Phase - Information Gathering

So you made her feel good. You made her laugh. You want to make sure that its ok to escalate to take it further. You want to know some bits about her. Ask her relationship situation. Ask her about who is she with. In my experience... I mean, in the guru's experience as I have read them in books, usually, women will lie about her relationship situation. They will tell you she's single if she likes you. And tell you that she has a boyfriend if she doesn't like you. What you need to make her feel is that you're ok either way. If she has a boyfriend say "Really? And how is it going so far?". Then you relate it with your own relationship experience. Don't dwell on it though and make yourself a relationship therapist. You just want to know if she's dating or dating but not happy. That will give you a reason to hook up. Reveal the cracks in her relationship and you have your reason to date her, without her being guilty about it.

4th Phase - Make It Sexual / Statement of Intent

She gave you reason to escalate. Her relationship is not doing good as well as yours. You connected with her and gave you a reason to hook up. What you want to do next is to turn her on. You want a date but you also don't want it to be too obvious. You want to turn her on first and make her ask for the date. Build the sexual tension. Make it fun. Then let her imagination run wild into hooking up with you. When she decides to meet and how is not you prerogative to fix, but hers. If she likes you, she'll find a way. You're job is to be the romeo of romance novels and make her feel "wet".

5th Phase - The Close

The end. 

She Texted at 3:00 AM

You know how I feel. I always try to be cool. Not be included to the list of suitors that were in the "Finished off" list. I don't want to be finished off. So I try to reason with myself that texting her would mean I step closer to that list.

I want this girl. I think more than anything I have so far. I desire her touch, the smell of her hair and the sound of her voice. My awkwardness has been the sign that I can not keep that desire much longer. I felt I own the world when I got that kiss. But for a gentleman, having a friendly peck is not something he should settle down for.

She texted "Good night" at 3:00 in the morning. I replied "Good night" an hour later. Debating that long if I should reply or not. But the feeling inside kept me from not sending her the text. What's there to be afraid of?

And now my morning is very bright. I dreamt of her. And I'm afraid I'm falling for her. I don't want to have this feeling. Its scary. I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of the pain. To be able to lose myself to this desire. But at the same time, I'm happy. What a dangerous combination. Just a thin line between insanity.

I want to take her away. Just me and her. To a far away island. Or travel the world. Just the two of us. No one will know. Maybe gone for a couple of years. And be the mother of my children when we came back. Making love as we travel from one romantic place to the next.

My thoughts are, what's taking her so long to give me the sign to take her away?

It Is All About Being Fun

Yesterday was a blast. I hang out with some friends from a hobby that I do. I already made an impression on one of the girl in the group long before this meeting. And it wasn't nice. I was too proud before and I kind of ignore her during those times. That is because I think she is cute and she has an attitude. But this nerd have learned his ways. The road to a woman's heart, no matter how bitchy they are, is I THINK to lose your ego, have fun and create desire.

Yesterday, I can definitely see her eyes lighting up when she talks to me. That is because we were having so much fun and I'm joking everyone around. She now initiates conversation with me. There's also a girl there, an acquaintace that did the cooking for us. Her husband is there as well. But her eyes when she talks to me, seems like a sticky evaporated milk that I just want to grab her in my arms, lay her on the floor and eat her then and there with everyone looking. She cooks really good. That must have been why I'm attacted to this girl. I totally forgot the cute girl that's suppose to be the target.

I think I made an impression that night. I made them laugh. I made it fun. I dictate the pace of the conversation. Talking slow, responding slow so that I can make it seem like a wicked fast witty reply. Let's see what the future holds. I may have to pursue this girl just to see how far I've come in this and to test my skills. Though she's not the very lady-like, she's athletic and has a nice body.

Ok. I Think I Messed Up This Conversation

Well, I did managed to make the girl laugh and compliment her genuinely. I think she has low self esteem and always wants to be complimented. An attention whore. Though this girl I think has issues, I still tried to game her for practice sake. I try to be objective and try not to confuse my judgement as something her issues related or my game skills.

I started to mess up when I got ticked off when she says "strike two". Strike 2 means, she is counting the number of times I used the word "sexy" on her. Making my statement of intent formal I think is good. But it ticked me off. Why the hell would a girl say that? But even before I calmed myself, I already sent a message saying that she has self esteem issues and can't find a genuine person if she always pre judge people like that.

Even if those are true. I think that its wrong to tell it out loud to a girl straight to her face the shouting truth about her self esteem. I forgot to lose my ego. Because its just too ridiculous. You don't say that to a girl pre judging her as a slut if she says something sexy. You just can't judge people like that.

I should have handled the situation better. "Strike two? How much life lines do I have left? I hope I started out with 100s of them." Lesson learned. Never tell a girl she has issues, even though she has, you need not to tell her. Its counter productive. Just make fun of the situation. Fuck the outcome. You dont care about the outcome, you don't care about the kiss, you don't care about the sex. What you need is to create desire!

Starting to Get the Hang of It... I think...

I think I'm starting to get the hang of it. Could you believe it, I made an online dating profile. Messaged 3 gorgeous girls and got 2 numbers from them. The other one, didn't replied. I think that being genuinely interested and having conversation skills that has no ego or the attitude of  trying to prove yourself all the time works.

The problem now I think for me is when the girl doesn't want your statement of intent. Now, a guru said that a girl will accept or not accept your statement of intent. But the outcome if she doesn't accept it is based on some factors 1. She doesn't like you. 2. She's not attracted to you yet. 3. She is not sure about what she feel about you. Its either the statement of intent came too early or too late and she's attracted to someone else i.e. the boyfriend. Its always the boyfriend doesn't it?

If you want the girl to accept your statement of intent, you have to create "desire". Desire, from what I understand from the gurus, is to make her think of you all the time, together with her doing sensual things. For example, how romance novels will write a love making scene. This creates desire. Desire is what turns into a date. Desire is what turns woman on. And desire is also equals to romance. For you, that's sex. And for me, that's a happy nerd.

I think ultimately, girl ranks guys according to sexuality. James Bond comes first on the list. Those high class, rich, savvy and classy guys that you'll never ever be. Second comes the Jackasses, those that you just want to punch the faces of. But of course you can't because they'll fight back. And since you're still a lot more rank below, you might as well not. That's also the reason why she'll sleep with him more than you. The next are the Nice Guys. Those that does everything for the girl. A little chivalry-istic yet they are much like a tool. They don't converse well. They put women on pedestal and demands love because they made every effort to make a woman happy. Turns out, women doesn't like them until they get older. Someone they can settle down with and raise her 10 kids from Jackass guy over there. And lastly, The Nerds, we are the lowest form of men. Guys who can't even stare a woman in the eye. Or will choose their math homework than to have sex with a girl. But come on, people change right? Sometimes, we get to realize that women are beautiful creatures. They are just gorgeous to look at. It makes you feel good touching them. Makes your blood boil just looking at them. And it is someone satisfying when they smile and bloom like a flower because of you. I think that feeling is fantastic. Yet the feeling can instantly turn into deep shit if the women misbehave on you.

Always remember to not be emotionally attached to a woman. Not unless you are married or in a serious relationship in which both of you agreed. Its a wonderful feeling to be in love. What makes it best is to be in love to the right person where your love and respect are being reciprocated with the same amount. Eventhough I am advising you as such. I am but vulnerable and easily manipulated when it comes to love. I am easily attached to a girl and hope to learn from any Cassanova on how to handle such emotions.

Ego Check! Still Bleeding

I think I'm starting to get the hang of it. Its very dangerous for a man to fall in love with a woman before she becomes interested in you. I realized that a man's job in a relationship, in any phase is to turn her on. Nevermind the sex, the kiss or the hug. Just turn her on. And how do you about doing this? Light her on fire when she isn't looking. Ha! Just kidding.

Conversation
The most important part of the seduction game or making a girl be interested in you is thru conversation. Growing up, I'm the nerd type. I used to think that having good grades then having great job after getting a good grade is a surefire way to meet the woman you want. Turns out, Johnny the dropout can get any girls he wants even without money. I think that parents are right when they ingrained in me that grades are good and studying leads to better future. But I think its only half of the equation. Being successful, to me I think is not having a good job, car or house and lots of money. Its about having a good job, car or house and lots of money AND share it with the hot blonde that you met at your local grocery store. Success in other words is to change the course of your life in any way you want in an instant. Men, are social creatures too. Even though they become introverted in studying too much, they will, hunt for a female companion to make the journey more bearable and fun. I think that's where I am lacking right now. Its the getting the female companion part.

Losing the ego
I think the most charming people out there are not the ones that hold great opinion on something and stand by their ground. If in fact that is the case, then we would have loved our politicians to the bones. But its kind of the opposite. I think the most charming people are the ones that have no ego. As if anything that happen are ok and they have fun to whatever the situation brings, good or bad. And they make it funny when situations are bad especially. I am in this stage of losing my ego. I get off the track when the girl says "I love Robert Downey Jr" or "I love Iron Man" or "Thor is Hot". Mr. Super Ego gets hurt and wants to be hulk. In my mind I thought I was being compared to a celebrity. I thought of it as a negative thing, well in fact its a good thing because the girl is sharing her emotions. I could have done and said something like "I also love Robert/Ironman/Thor. I think they are great/cool/very attractive. But if I could be like them, I would want my power to be different. I want my power to be the power of tickle. So I can just tickle the enemy and we all be friends." Its making fun of the situation. The problem here would be is thinking of a reply. And it will be a lot of practice. I think losing the ego first. Then enjoying the answer 2nd. Then add more fun/humor to her answer.

Pacing the Conversation
A guru said that the best way to come up with a witty reply/comeback to a statement is to pace the conversation. That is, you should be the one dictating the pace of the conversation. Don't try to chase or answer quickly. Try to think of an answer before replying and make sure its 1. disqualifying and 2. its a statement 3. funny. Practice makes perfect. The only way to practice this is thru conscious effort. Making each and every conversation go to the pace you are comfortable with. It doesn't have to be a conversation with a girl. Guy friends or family or the stranger you met at the local grocery store can be a good practice dummy. Always remember that being charming is a skill. If you have fun, its always a win win situation.

Disqualify Yourself
A sub part of losing the ego is disqualifying yourself as a potential mate. When most guys in her circle will try to compete for her attention, the alpha male is so secure in his ability, he will not compete with those guys because he knows there is no need. If the girl says "I love people who can play the guitar". You'll reply with a disqualifying statement "I love guitar players as well and try to be like them. I'd like to think of myself as a good guitar player, but the only songs I can play are songs for nursery kids or songs with only 2 chords.". You want to have fun in the conversation and nevermind about her standards. People will always have standards and they will be pretty high and you'll never ever meet it. The only way to make someone like you is to be a different person, disqualify yourself from that standards.

I'm Still Bleeding Inside But Life Has To Go On

I'm still missing the girl I had a date with last wednesday. I can totally see this girl as someone I can settle down with. But that is what happens when the perfect girl comes and you don't have game. You miss the opportunity. But I don't want to do anything stupid for her to shut me off permanently. Though I did made her feel awkward, I might have been brought down to the list of guys she wanted to go steady with.

This is hard for me to swallow. I have always been so prideful and egotistic about being the only choice. But perhaps a guru was correct that we should have no ego at all. Whatever the girl decides, dates other guys, you must be contented to be in that list, no matter how far behind are you. You can not really control those things, what your competitor is doing or how she feels. Just be in that list so when the other guys messed up, you're up for the bat and maybe next time, it could be a home run. Lose the ego.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Rejection - Acceptance

I guess I have to accept the fact that women will reject guys like me more than any normal guy out there. Being a nerd, I have always known women will reject me. But the self improvement continues on. Even though I thought that I did great on that date, a man has to move on, improve and explore more things. I'm done listening to love songs and I'm moving on.

Day 2: Date Aftermath No Comm

This is the hard part for me. I'm feeling really disappointed in my self. I think I could have done better in my last date. Thinking about it now. I think I were to lax and calm about it and made her awkward. Well, I think the ball is on her now. Not to mention he kept mentioning iron man and how he is her ideal guy, I'm starting to feel like an impotent man.

So I Went on a Date Today

I went on a date. Even though I have a huge ass pimple on my nose, I realized that I need to do this which is better than nothing. The pimple can come and go, and my date may not like me because of it, but I think the lesson that will be learned here will stay with me for a lifetime.

We went to the mall. I wanted to treat her to the movies. And she promised to treat me on her payday. Sounds fair enough for me. On the movie theatre, I tried to hold her hand when the scene is scary and she does seem like scared and covering her face. So I offered my hand and hold her. But just a few minutes, she took it off. This is the first rejection for me and I felt that I don't have this girl yet.

Then we went to eat. I tried to be funny. She does seem like genuinely smiling. But I'm just not sure if being persistent in filming her using my phone is a good idea. She is camera shy. This is where, I think I really messed up. I should have kept my phone in my pocket. But she looks so cute when being filmed. And I thought she doesn't mind.

I tried to hold her hand again while we were walking. But the fucking handbag is in the way. Always. I tried to tell her I'll carry the bag so I have the chance to actually hold her hand. But dumb fool me didn't spoke anything and just said, ok when she said she dont want men to carry her bag.

The part of the date where we part ways. I think here, she is just being polite in giving me the goodbye kiss and hug. But for me, it seems fake. She promised to take me out in return for another date. But I don't want to keep my hopes up.

I'm Drunk and I think I'm inlove

I have this girl that I have been in love with for a couple of years. A few weeks earlier, I think I have escalated into a more intimate relationship with her. She told me she likes me. But when it comes to love, she said that her heart is happy and she has yet to know what to feel once we meet again on wednesday.

I'm inlove with this girl.

Its Time To Change

Today I decided to change for the better. Not for me to get chicks. But for me to be deserving of the girl I'm about to go steady with in the future. I realized that if I want a really quality girl. I must also be a quality man to deserve her. I went out today and visited my dentist. He strongly suggest I get braces because of the gaps in my teeth. I don't really want to spend money right now. But what the heck, invest in thyself... After all this year, I only bought books. Thinking that the term "invest in yourself" meant educating yourself. I realized that it also goes for the outside appearance. So I agreed. I'm scheduled for braces this coming week.

Next is I bought a decent watch. The only 2 accessories that makes a man is his watch and his shoes. I don't have any elegant shoes at the moment and I still love my sneakers. I love the watch, I think its a good investment as well.

Next will be to enroll in a gym. This one is easy as I like to go to the gym.

Only Be Nice to Girls That Likes You

The following is a true story that happened last week with my friend. My friend likes a girl and we are drinking a couple of beers then suddenly, the girl texted us that somebody is trying to get into her house. Learning about the news, we immediately went to her place.

Basically, there are 3 guys that likes the girl (i think). One of it my friend. They never told me, I just kind of have a hunch.

Guy 1: Immediately went to her place panicking. I already know that he likes the girl because of his reaction. Its too obvious. He first arrived at the scene.

Guy 2: Good looking guy. Laid back. Every girl likes him because he is good looking.

Guy 3: My friend. Intelligent and nice guy. He has an engineering degree.

Basically, what happened was there's a guy who wanted to get into her house, eventhough the culprit knows that SHE is inside. Probably, there is something perverted he wanted to do, knowing that the girl was changing her clothes and trying to break the window and look inside.

We arrived at the scene and the culprit hearing our cars approach, escaped.

Guy 1: Showing concern to the girl. Getting angry and emotion for the lack of security in the area. Bitching around like a teenage girl for what happened.

Guy 2: Good looking guy, just hanging out quiet and being cute.

Guy 3: My friend. Decided to stay behind and watch to protect the girl.

I decided to stay behind as well just in case the culprit return, we can tackle him together. And also, I would like to know if girls really like nice guys like they always say.

I think my friend did the nicest thing. He was concerned for the girl. Everybody was asked if they also want to leave behind. Guy 1 and Guy 2 said they can't because of blah blah excuses.

I decided to volunteer to help my friend out. I know she likes the girl.

So we spent the night talking to the girl. So left them talking and I went to sleep.

My friend is really a nice guy. He even called the cops and security so in case the culprit returned and we are not there.

After the incident. We went home. She wants to repay us by treating us for drinks. Actually, we are not included. Guy 1 and Guy 2 only. Guy 2 was not there during the treat. Guy 1 and the other people involved are there on the treat. My friend Guy 3 and me were not invited.

The girl is upset because Guy 2 can't come and would like to setup another meeting for him.

I say. What the fuck is wrong with girls? My friend risked his neck to protect the girl. Went out of his way to show his concern and that's how he is repaid. Fuck that. I don't fucking understand it.

Gorgeous Girl Won't Like You Unless

Looking at a photograph of a cute girl, I feel my blood boil in excitement. And at the same time despair because I know deep inside, that I won't even have the chance to date that girl. Unless I excercise? Unless I look good? Unless I have lots of money? Unless I have power?

When A Person Ignores You, Should You Ignore Back?

I think its frustrating that people would ignore you. And not even give you a chance to prove yourself to them. Like the girl I like. She ignores me. It hurts. Its frustrating. Why doesn't she like me? I don't want to dwell in self pity... Self pity is not something an alpha male would do. I want to be stronger. I don't want a woman who'll have an effect on me. I want to have the power to choose which woman I like. And I want to have the emotion to withstand rejection.

Her Name is M.

She was the girl I fell in love with during high school. But because things never happened between the two of us. I tried to talk to her today thru text. When I try to call her, she never answers the phone. She's the shy type of girl, knowing her since high school. I know she might be shy.

I just can't get her to talk at all. She'll reply once then she'll ignore my other texts. The feeling of being ignored frustrates me...

In a book that I read says that I should not be affected if a girl ignores me. Being ignored by a girl means she perceive me as lower value than her. And you don't want to be lower value than a woman. So that means, I should just search for another girl right?

About This Girl & Why Does Woman Lie?

I used to be a ladies man. When I was in elementary - high school. I used to be a popular guy. Good grades, good in sports, good looking. But when I went to college and up to know, I never really had good enough successes with women. Women that I want to have long term relationship with. Mostly are just 1 to 2 dates and we go separate ways.

I'm tired of it all. I'm tired when you want to have a serious relationship with woman, that's the time they will lie to you. Then you will find out, without them knowing. Then it makes me not to trust them anymore.

I guess its a woman's nature to lie lie and lie. Everybody lie. That's what I learned in the tv show house. And he has a point. But the sad thing is, I always expect everyone to tell the truth and get hurt in the process. I think I haven't matured enough in this. I tend to have an idealistic view of human nature that everybody is kind. That there is love. And that everything is fine as long you "be yourself". I've been acting that way for a long time and the results never change. Maybe its time for me to change myself.

That's what this blog is all about. I want to document my thoughts when it comes to relationships and my goal to becoming an alpha male. It would probably be a long journey for a nice guy like me.