I feel sad today. I have worse feelings before. But this one is like a backpack that's been on your back for several hours and there's a little pain that very uncomfortable. Its bearable but its annoying.
It goes back to the manager girl I dated. The first time she ignored me should have been my signal to step back and now. I made so much effort that I feel invested in her. Those efforts were not reciprocated equally and it hurts me.
I felt used. We made a deal to treat her to the first date. I paid all the tabs. Promising to treat me on the 2nd date. But the 2nd date didn't came. I learned a lot from this experience. Never plan for the future. Always be at the present. The first date is where its at. I should have made it a balanced effort. Now I felt used like a doormat.
Its a wake up call for me. Though I feel sad at the moment. I'm kind of happy because I was terrified of dating before. And now, I'm pretty confident to hold my own when it comes again and just be myself. I enjoyed myself on our date, though she seemed to be guarded, I feel my own self.
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