Sunday, May 13, 2012

Ego Check! Still Bleeding

I think I'm starting to get the hang of it. Its very dangerous for a man to fall in love with a woman before she becomes interested in you. I realized that a man's job in a relationship, in any phase is to turn her on. Nevermind the sex, the kiss or the hug. Just turn her on. And how do you about doing this? Light her on fire when she isn't looking. Ha! Just kidding.

Conversation
The most important part of the seduction game or making a girl be interested in you is thru conversation. Growing up, I'm the nerd type. I used to think that having good grades then having great job after getting a good grade is a surefire way to meet the woman you want. Turns out, Johnny the dropout can get any girls he wants even without money. I think that parents are right when they ingrained in me that grades are good and studying leads to better future. But I think its only half of the equation. Being successful, to me I think is not having a good job, car or house and lots of money. Its about having a good job, car or house and lots of money AND share it with the hot blonde that you met at your local grocery store. Success in other words is to change the course of your life in any way you want in an instant. Men, are social creatures too. Even though they become introverted in studying too much, they will, hunt for a female companion to make the journey more bearable and fun. I think that's where I am lacking right now. Its the getting the female companion part.

Losing the ego
I think the most charming people out there are not the ones that hold great opinion on something and stand by their ground. If in fact that is the case, then we would have loved our politicians to the bones. But its kind of the opposite. I think the most charming people are the ones that have no ego. As if anything that happen are ok and they have fun to whatever the situation brings, good or bad. And they make it funny when situations are bad especially. I am in this stage of losing my ego. I get off the track when the girl says "I love Robert Downey Jr" or "I love Iron Man" or "Thor is Hot". Mr. Super Ego gets hurt and wants to be hulk. In my mind I thought I was being compared to a celebrity. I thought of it as a negative thing, well in fact its a good thing because the girl is sharing her emotions. I could have done and said something like "I also love Robert/Ironman/Thor. I think they are great/cool/very attractive. But if I could be like them, I would want my power to be different. I want my power to be the power of tickle. So I can just tickle the enemy and we all be friends." Its making fun of the situation. The problem here would be is thinking of a reply. And it will be a lot of practice. I think losing the ego first. Then enjoying the answer 2nd. Then add more fun/humor to her answer.

Pacing the Conversation
A guru said that the best way to come up with a witty reply/comeback to a statement is to pace the conversation. That is, you should be the one dictating the pace of the conversation. Don't try to chase or answer quickly. Try to think of an answer before replying and make sure its 1. disqualifying and 2. its a statement 3. funny. Practice makes perfect. The only way to practice this is thru conscious effort. Making each and every conversation go to the pace you are comfortable with. It doesn't have to be a conversation with a girl. Guy friends or family or the stranger you met at the local grocery store can be a good practice dummy. Always remember that being charming is a skill. If you have fun, its always a win win situation.

Disqualify Yourself
A sub part of losing the ego is disqualifying yourself as a potential mate. When most guys in her circle will try to compete for her attention, the alpha male is so secure in his ability, he will not compete with those guys because he knows there is no need. If the girl says "I love people who can play the guitar". You'll reply with a disqualifying statement "I love guitar players as well and try to be like them. I'd like to think of myself as a good guitar player, but the only songs I can play are songs for nursery kids or songs with only 2 chords.". You want to have fun in the conversation and nevermind about her standards. People will always have standards and they will be pretty high and you'll never ever meet it. The only way to make someone like you is to be a different person, disqualify yourself from that standards.

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